To Waiting in Lines Outside Bars
Are you kidding me? No, really. Are you kidding?
I’m sorry for being so agitated, I just can’t believe there’s a line outside this bar (my bar, by the way), and that it’s going to take me 25 minutes to get to the front, plus another ten to actually find a seat and get my drink on. All I want is a little nip from the old booze fountain after a hard day’s work! Is that so wrong?
I suppose it must be because instead of a soothing alcoholiday, what do I get? A line. A big, massive, snaking, stinking (quite literally - hipsters don’t shower much) amusement park line.
What is it about waiting in line to get into bars that gets me? First off, I hate waiting in lines, period. A wise man once told me that the only things worth queuing for are bread and rollercoasters. I think he was quite right so we’ve already started out on the wrong foot. Secondly, this is a bar, not the IMAX theater. George Lucas is not in there with a secret never-before-seen Star Wars episode, so WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?!?
Oh yeah: Friends, frivolity and after-work release via LEGAL STIMULANTS! Can you feel my pain now, friendly neighborhood vice-peddler, or are you too busy counting your money?
I know. Let’s make a deal! I will stop whining and wait like a good citizen if you begin serving drinks in line. Or, at the very least, make like In-n-Out and take our orders in advance.
Yes? No? Who’s with me on this one?
By Mariana M.
May 28th, 2008 | 09:31 am | Rants
12 Responses to “To Waiting in Lines Outside Bars”
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May 31st, 2008 at 7:42 am
waiting in line INside bars sucks too.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:44 am
true dat
May 31st, 2008 at 7:45 am
Stop whining and go drink alone, loser.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:48 am
the WHINGER is telling santa to stop whining? i’m not the one with the “whinger” handle, limey.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:49 am
I’m just glad no one is pounding our new video, or careers in general in this comment thread.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:49 am
stop whinging santa
May 31st, 2008 at 7:51 am
that’s it. you’re on the bad list now, whinger.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:51 am
ha! These comments are ridic. Waiting in bar lines suck!! which is why I always have my BF grease the door man. Works every time!
May 31st, 2008 at 7:52 am
Luckily I have a lot of use for lumps of coal…
May 31st, 2008 at 7:53 am
Seriously. Just pay the door man. Never wait in line again. Problem solved?
May 31st, 2008 at 7:56 am
watch knocked up for the real explanation for lines outside bars.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:00 am
lol gurner!!