To Urinal Sculptures
Dear Urinal Sculptures,
Um, so can I just say how much I love you? I can pee into an orchid! Brilliant! Amazing! As soon as I start making that six-figure salary and buy a beach house - I’ll definitely pony up the seven grand or whatever for one of your sculptures. Who cares about the Mona Lisa, huh? This is real art.
Man, nothing takes me back to my carefree days of peeing willy-nilly in fields of wildflowers quite like being able to unload into a poppy. Thanks so much. And remember my wild times at the public beach where the line for the porta-potties was too long? I think of that every time I see the nautilus urinal. That takes me back like nothing else will.
Here’s the thing though: have you ever thought about expanding beyond the familiar bathroom motif? I mean, flowers and shells are nice and all - heck, they’re awesome! But I mean, we’ve had flower and shell-shaped fancy soaps for decades. Push the boundaries of urinal art, maan! Maybe I could pee into a boat? Or a wine glass? Or the White House? Come on! Use your imagination! There’s so many ways to go with this!
In the meantime, though, with the recession being what it is, I doubt I could make a purchase anytime soon. But I’ll definitely forward this to my rich friends - and hopefully I’ll urinate into a tulip very, very soon.
By Leonard H.
June 14th, 2008 | 01:56 am | Raves
11 Responses to “To Urinal Sculptures”
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June 14th, 2008 at 2:35 am
I wanna pee in a nautilus. Brings new meaning to the phrase “Golden spiral.”
June 14th, 2008 at 8:01 am
dude. this is awesome.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Awesome? More like gross. TMI, dude.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Girls never get anything nearly as cool…
June 14th, 2008 at 8:08 am
dayuuuuum! once i’m baaaaallin i’m all over this!
June 14th, 2008 at 8:09 am
icky. and people pay for this?
June 14th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Whatever Laura, girls can learn how to pee standing up if we practice. I’m getting one!
June 14th, 2008 at 8:12 am
tell me about it, andrea. it’s the only way I’ll do it now! once you go upright, sitting just don’t feel right!
June 14th, 2008 at 8:12 am
I’ve seen these in fancy hotels and stuff. Hopefully nobody ever mistakes them for a fountain.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I’m a sculpter, maybe I’ll start sculpting these. Looks like there might be a market for ‘em.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:18 am
My ex had one of these. ‘Nuff said.