To the Sixties
Has there ever been a decade better at self-promotion than you? If there is I can’t think of what it might be! Of all the decades that are held in popular esteem, you are number one. Which is nominally fine because hey, there’s a lot of things I admire about you. Your music, for one, is still amazing nearly 50 years after the fact. Also, it must be lovely being a decade during which the United States was not disliked by the majority of Earth’s population. Regardless though, really Sixties, you need to stop bragging about how much better you are than all the other decades. You also need to stop assuming that since you were a fairly revolutionary decade it follows that you changed the world forever.
See, the problem is just that you made a lot of promises, but you didn’t deliver. All that talk of equality, peace, free love, and a fair society have amounted to big pile of nothing. And dude, where’s my flying car? I’ve been waiting for decades for a self-cleaning house, and still no dice? Sixties, you’re the worst marketing campaign ever! You promised us products and then did not deliver! I’d even settle for a jet pack at this point, but I fear a Troll doll is all I’m gonna end up with.
What else…? Oh yes, the sexual revolution and free love, maaan. Too bad about AIDS, huh? Couldn’t your love have been half-price? Or maybe “a good value”? Nope, it had to be free - and we’re paying the price today, wasting our taxes on a costly and ineffective abstinence education programs that teach children having sex means they’re going to go blind (not to mention suffer the wrath of God) if they “do it” outside of marriage. Awesome.
You promised there would be no more poverty (ha ha ha - that’s the sound of my empty bank account chortling). You promised there would be massive change in cultural thinking, which there was; too bad it was a shift to the right. That’s right, Sixties, Nixon was your fault.
The saddest thing is I think you must know ALL this because otherwise why would you hype yourself so incessantly? Why would you bother with all the nostalgia if you actually effected the change you promised? You didn’t and you can’t even face it. What’s that? You say you can’t take responsibility for something you “don’t remember?” Yeah right.
By Mariana M.
May 20th, 2008 | 04:33 am | Rants
16 Responses to “To the Sixties”
Leave a Reply
May 20th, 2008 at 4:48 am
I laughed out loud at “nixon was your fault.”
May 20th, 2008 at 4:51 am
ARGHHHH! I hate it when my dad makes the “If you can remember the 60s, you clearly weren’t there” joke. Lametown.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:31 am
Dude… you should NOT dis the 60s. Not cool, RantFarm.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:34 am
I disagree, Lester. I think the sixties should have known better than to step to RF. You don’t step to RF and not get burned… unless you’re LOLanything.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:25 am
As a relic from the sixties, I have to say that if not for lack of gainful employment and the sadder lack of self-realization fostered by the employment situation the sixties would never have happened. Kent State was a part of the sixties, did you find it too hot to handle in your rant or were you remembering only the good parts,like the minds twisted forever by cheap contaminated street drugs, the illegitimate children spawned in desperation,the song gurus like Arlo Guthrie who begged for peace and a way out of conscription? please remember too that we were using segregated toilets in America then. This was not America’s finest hour, it was the loss of a generation due to 40’s groupthink on behalf of the government and big business. This was not America’s finest hour it was the loss of a generation due to 40’s groupthink on behalf of government and big business. We paid for a stockmarket crash that never happened, with our lives.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:54 am
shut up, hippie.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:55 am
Uncle B hasn’t taken his medication today. I should know.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:56 am
by “medication” do you mean acid? cause I think he took it.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:57 am
Yeah “Alice’s Restaurant” sure changed everything. I mean, Arlo Guthrie is the first guy I think of when I think about 60’s music.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:58 am
screw you, shane. way to represent the generation badly. we don’t know what it was like! imagine if the next ten years of our lives are all f-ed up. the economy fails, the gas prices and unemployment soar, we can’t get our asses out of Iraq - we’ll be mad too.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:59 am
i agree. the sixties weren’t some fairy tale magical time. they were tough, and a lot of people died, or lost their minds. and there wasn’t a constantly running classic rock soundtrack, sorry. only thing those kids in nam heard were bullets whizzing by and their buddies dying. no doors music, sorry.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:59 am
don’t get angry. if you get angry the hippies win.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:00 am
damn, i wish i could get my hands on some good acid for once. you had it good, uncle B! alls I can find is cheap blotter masquerading as the real stuff.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:01 am
hear hear gurner! what happened uncle B? did you eat it all?
May 31st, 2008 at 8:01 am
This argument is lame. We’ll have our own crap to deal with too, just like they did… of course we WILL have a soundtrack… the iPod took care of that.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:02 am
shut it geysergirl. no one hired you to mediate.