To the Girl who Kissed Me when I was Five
Dear Girl,
I want to apologize for overreacting.
In hindsight, I realize that spitting on you may not have been an appropriate course of action. Even the screaming and running away were probably unnecessary. I also probably shouldn’t have called you “kissy-face” for the next five years.
I hope you understand that when you stole my truck, I was quite distraught–and yes, I must insist you “stole” it, you did not “borrow” it, as you claimed to Miss Simpkins. Obviously, my game of “Vroom, Vroom” felt lacking without it, so I was willing to do anything in order to get it back. Your request for a kiss felt a little invasive and obscene–not by my standards today, obviously, but at the time, I mean–but I was prepared to do anything. It was my truck, after all.
I don’t know what your intentions were with the kiss, but I think it’s safe to say that I did not feel likewise. Certainly, I wish I had had the maturity to say something along those lines. For my lack of eloquence, I apologize too.
I know we travel in very different social circles these days, since your rarely deign to enter the computer lab, and I have been officially warned about sneaking in to watch cheerleading practice. All the same, as a gesture of my sincere apology: would you like to go to prom?
February 15th, 2008 | 06:48 am | Rants
8 Responses to “To the Girl who Kissed Me when I was Five”
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February 15th, 2008 at 7:15 am
I had this same experience with a boy… a boy who had stolen my transformer and would not give it back. Jimmy O’Connell you know who you are!!!
February 15th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Stop whining, Liz. You know you loved it!!!
February 15th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Hey! What about when I punched him in the stomach for doing it? Liz, you neglected to mention that part of the story. I didn’t get dessert for a week thanks to my chivalry!
February 15th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I didn’t know that!!?!??!
February 15th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Do you two need a room?
February 15th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Shut up, Jim.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Why you gotta cockblock, Jim?
March 5th, 2008 at 5:35 am
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