To the Cop Who Pulled Me Over When I Was Sixteen
Dear Cop Who Pulled Me Over When I Was Sixteen,
You were an asshole. You know you were.
Oh, come on. I wasn’t speeding! I was only going a cozy 5 miles over the speed limit. Okay, maybe 15. But there’s no freaking way that you clocked me at 90. No way, dude, your equipment must be messed up.
And yes, I did see the stop sign, but you know there should totally be a yield sign there. No, I know I’m not the planning commission for the county, but seriously, I can see clearly in both directions for miles. Okay, one direction. But everyone I know cruises by that thing. Why didn’t you arrest them, huh?
But here’s the thing, I know you were just playing the bad cop card. You saw a happy, reckless young ‘un, so you decided to teach me a lesson. I know you’re probably not that much of an asshole in your daily life. (Well, I don’t know that exactly. Actually, I’m just giving you the benefit of the doubt, although I’m not entirely sure it’s deserved.) So you decided you pull the big, scary cop routine to scare me from ever committing another traffic violation ever again.
But here’s the thing, didn’t you ever stop to think about the longer-term consequences of your actions? Like the fact that I hate cops. Sure, then, I was a silly, unassuming kid, but now I’m a voter and a taxpayer, and most importantly, I’m the most active user on RateMyCop.com. I’m taking you down, bucko, one vote at a time.
By Heather S.
April 12th, 2008 | 07:10 am | Rants
8 Responses to “To the Cop Who Pulled Me Over When I Was Sixteen”
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April 12th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I like how you turned the condescending cop talk back on the cop. Like NWA once wisely intoned, “F*ck the police!”
April 14th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
this is why i hate cops
April 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
What?? Is this supposed to be funny? The kid was totally speeding! He deserved to get pulled over!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:10 am
I wonder how many times McCain has been pulled over in his life? I would love to be that cop!!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:11 am
In my country, there is none of this “speeding.” There is only driving very quickly, and our speed limit signs are held by large-chested women.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:23 am
LOL! This is so true. I was pulled over when I was sixteen for doing 67 in a 35 zone. When the cop asked me why I was speeding, I told him it was because I was trying to beat the light (which was true). He didn’t take too kindly to that. I lost my license for a month!!
April 21st, 2008 at 11:33 pm
stupid. this is as funny as you could get?
May 16th, 2008 at 2:55 am
[...] time I got pulled over with a car full of rocks. There’s still a lot of stuff I’d like to say to the cop who pulled me over when I was 16. But all those words will pale in comparison to what I’m gonna say to queen bee and Dale [...]