To the Bracelet I Stole from Disneyland
Dear Bracelet I Stole From Disneyland,
Thank you for coming home with me without a monetary transaction.
I was at Disneyland last Monday, which means I spent an arm and a leg to get in the damn place. Then there were the expensive food prices. My friend and I were strolling through Frontierland with the rush of Big Thunder Mountain still left in our hair. I dragged him over to the leather stand to look at the cheesy braided leather bands that could be engraved with our names. We were trying you and your $8 bracelet-glory on, when my friend suggested that we could steal you and your friend, and no one would notice. Being raised right, I laughed at him, waving away his dishonest implication. I looked back at the leather lady wearing a hot tranny mess of a Disney wild west outfit, to see she was busy helping another customer. I turned to my friend and very seriously asked, “Will you feel bad about this?” He looked at me and said, “Oh F*ck no!” And thus we strapped you on and ran away into Adventureland.
The high you gave me was… inexplicable. I mean, I never steal anything. Never. Running away to the Indiana Jones ride felt like I was flying. I was dodging little kids left and right, holding my friend’s hand. We were unstoppable! How many more of your bracelet friends could we steal? Would we stop at just bracelets?
Later in the day, I was debating purchasing a sweet plastic child’s Minnie Mouse watch. The sales lady walked away for a moment, and my friend urged me to steal it. He had a crazed glint in his eyes. I mean, a $20 watch is a little different… or is it? Regardless, there was a security guard at the door, and I didn’t want to get dragged out of Disneyland (and to jail) after all that. I refrained from stealing the kid’s watch. We don’t look the type to steal, and I’m not a really bad person. Am I?
Oh, stolen bracelet, tell me I deserve you! How can this love be so wrong when it feels so right? I want you to know, good or bad, as I sit here gazing at you I am thankful to have you on my body. And even more thankful that I didn’t pay for you.
By Heather S.
May 13th, 2008 | 05:40 am | Raves
8 Responses to “To the Bracelet I Stole from Disneyland”
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May 13th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Ha! The ONLY thing I’ve ever stolen was a pin from Sea World. I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
May 13th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Stealing is not OK. If Disney stock goes down this year, I’m holding you personally responsible, Olivia.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Disneyland is like the Matrix. When you’re in it, your real actions matter… but not really as much as you think they do.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:14 am
yeah, unless you die!
May 13th, 2008 at 7:41 am
those bracelets are the sh*t! nicely done, olivia.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Boo I had to pay 8 dollars for mine
May 17th, 2008 at 8:17 am
If you pay for anything at Disneyland you’re dumb
November 13th, 2008 at 8:12 am
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