To Teenage Romantic Disasters


Dear Teenage Romantic Disasters,
 

Okay, before you tell me just how unique your particular situation is, let me take a wild guess: You’re an individual. You’re complex. So complex that no one could ever really understand you, and therefore no one could ever really love you. So you’ll probably die sad and alone.
 

How am I doing, huh? Am I warm? Let me take another wild guess: I’m spot-on, you whiny, deluded morons!! Look, when you reach the ripe old age of 30, you’ll realize just how boring and narcissistic you really are - so it’s only natural that anyone with half a brain and a shred of self-respect wouldn’t even want to know the real you, anyway.
 

But before then, how about you try this one on for size? How about you date more than two people before you start complaining about how no one will ever love you? Call me crazy, but with 6 billion people on this planet, the odds are still stacked in your favor that you’ll find someone. Eventually. True, the whiny narcissism will lower your chances - as will the fact that a substantial number of those 6 billion don’t speak English - but, hey, desperation must count for something, right?
 

Okay, okay, you think that I’m just a cynical adult, dead to the struggles and passions of true free-thinkers such as yourselves? Fine: I’ll concede that maybe - just maybe - you really are the unappreciated genius of your generation you insist you are. (And you even have the poetry to show for it.) But could you at least do one thing for me?
 

Just stop writing blog entries until you learn how to spell. Thanks.
 

By Leonard H.



June 21st, 2008 | 02:28 am | Rants


7 Responses to “To Teenage Romantic Disasters”

  1. Jen Says:
    June 21st, 2008 at 4:49 am

    Bravo!

  2. marcus Says:
    June 22nd, 2008 at 5:03 am

    oh gawd - this brings me back.

  3. emogrrl Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 1:50 am

    lolz talk about deja vu..

  4. franny&zooey Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 5:50 am

    Even though I love him, I blame Salinger.

  5. frank Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 1:53 am

    LOL

  6. penny Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 2:21 am

    I just saw some drama like this go down just yesterday! It was awesome. Brought back memories.

  7. georgebeard Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    you guys should stop writing rants until you learn how to be funny.

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