To Real Ultimate Power (.net)
Dear Real Ultimate Power (Robert Hamburger),
You are comprised wholly of nuanced variants of genius cloaked in between sugar rush speak. I am basically in awe.
You have many detractors, both real and imagined. Many of the real point to the imagined as the source of their detraction. The fact that some of your hate mail may be fabricated is, to me, what makes your genius that much more magnificent and complete.
You have harnessed the true, unbridled power of satire like none before. You accomplish this by mastering the enthusiastic diction of the preteen and slightly augmenting it with subtle hyperbole. Your talk of ninjas and pirates feeds the fascination with these subjects that we all share, subconsciously or not. And you have the ability to break down the fourth wall and become your audience.
Your hate mail, real or fabricated, is the true gem of Real Ultimate Power. If it be real, you have achieved the pinnacle of comedy: the inflamation of minds. And if it be fabricated, you have added yet another layer to your extensive comedy strata to be unearthed at some later date by humor geologists.
Real Ultimate Power, you are the original Ninja comedy website. Your many detractors, imitators, and followers only ensure your spot in the pantheon of comedic greatness. Thank you for making me laugh, for making me think, and for making me rent more Michael Dudikoff movies.
February 22nd, 2008 | 09:46 am | Raves
9 Responses to “To Real Ultimate Power (.net)”
Leave a Reply
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:50 am
This rave is cool, and by cool I mean TOTALLY sweet!
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:53 am
I heard Proust was a Ninja.
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:58 am
Boo, pirates are better. They deserve a resurgence in popularity. Better rum, better ships, better wenches, better parties. Zen is boring.
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:51 am
little does Stu know those were his last words…
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:55 am
I heard Elliot Ness was a ninja. Any ninjas care to substantiate this rumor?
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 am
I wish they would bring the midi-style ninja music back to that site. I can still hear it in my head (da da da da dadadadadadadadadaaa, da da da da wick wick wick waaa).
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:06 am
I have one of their original t-shirts!! It is still the sweetest!
March 14th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
[...] Rothrock movies… LMAO!! When I couldn’t sleep after the low budget entertadiva2b.blogspot.comTo Real Ultimate Power .net Dear Real Ultimate Power Robert Hamburger, You are comprised wholly of nuanced variants of genius [...]
March 21st, 2008 at 7:29 am
this guy is my uncle.