To People Search Engine
Dear People Search Engine,
You saved my life. Well, not my literal life exactly. You did however save my social life. And I know what you’re thinking: there wasn’t much there to save. I know this. Please don’t make me feel bad. I know you’ve been talking to a couple of the social networks I belong to, and they’ve been telling you about the lack of friends I have. Don’t think you’re being sneaky either. I heard you guys snickering in the dark while I was trying to fall asleep last night.
I think it’s stupid and juvenile that you would even try and judge me based on how many friends I have accumulated on MySpace. I would have expected that elitist behavior from Facebook, but not you People Search Engine. You are perfection, and I want you to stay that way.
I really only became your number one fan about two weeks ago. My best friend from back in the day just announced that he is getting married. We were all stoked for him, but wished that our old friend Darren was there to celebrate. My friend told me that if Darren were around, he would ask him to be an usher with all the rest of us.
See, Darren was part of our group when we were growing up, through high school. He went away for school, because he’s a whole hell of a lot smarter than us. We all stayed in the same place, and he stayed away. We all missed him, but soon forgot about him until my friend brought it up.
Well, being the best man, I thought that is was my duty to find Darren. That was my mission. Or… at least I thought it was going to be a mission, until I found you, sweet People Search Engine. You made it so easy to find Darren, our long lost friend. I typed in his name and within minutes you mercilessly gave me his contact info. I called him up and invited him to come out. He was so excited he jumped on a plane that weekend to visit. Everyone was so surprised, and staying true to his word, he asked Darren to be in his wedding.
Long story short, all my friends were impressed and wanted me to teach them how to people search. I’m super popular now thanks to you People Search Engine. Go check my MySpace, I think I added like three friends since last week! So there!
January 26th, 2008 | 02:53 am | Raves
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