To Madonna


Dear Madonna,
 

Let’s get all the concessions and formalities out of the way: you’re amazing, a superstar, you’re scandalous, you’ve changed the world of pop music for the better, you’re almost 50 and you’re still hot, you’ve got kids to match your various purses, etc. However, I’m wondering whether you’re letting this get to your head?
 

Okay, okay, stupid question, I know. It went to your head a long time ago. But showing up two hours late to a concert in Paris? That’s not superstar behavior! That’s Britney shenanigans! And then only performing for 40 minutes? That’s not how you became the international icon we all know and love. Come on, Material Girl, get back on track!
 

That kind of slovenly behavior alone wouldn’t be worth of a rant, just a footnote on Perez. So you know what this is really about, don’t you? The kiss. You kissed one of your female dancers on stage. Excuse you? This isn’t 2003. Around here, we have a saying for that, it’s SEEN IT. Who was that chick anyway? We have no idea! Who cares who your background dancers are? They’re background for a reason! You made the front page of every civilized newspaper in the world last time around, because you were macking Britney Freaking Spears! This was a hundred times more passé.
 

Madge, look, I love hot girl-on-girl tongue action as much as the next guy. Maybe even more than the next guy. But you can’t repeat old stunts to cover up your bad behavior. It would be like escaping from rehab, shaving your head - and adopting a Malawi orphan to make up for it! It just won’t work again!
 

You need to find your good karma elsewhere. I hear Greenpeace needs some help.
 

By Leonard H.



May 15th, 2008 | 07:30 am | Rants


5 Responses to “To Madonna”

  1. andrea Says:
    May 15th, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    oh gawd. the last thing we need is Madonna getting involved with Greenpeace!!

  2. cindyrees Says:
    May 17th, 2008 at 8:10 am

    Whatever. The mighty Madge can do whatever she d*mn well pleases!

  3. Bobblehead Says:
    May 17th, 2008 at 8:14 am

    I agree with cindyrees

  4. flutterby Says:
    May 17th, 2008 at 8:19 am

    I hate when performers show up late to their own gig. SO unprofessional and the audience totally resents it.

  5. andy Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 7:32 am

    The Queen of Pop can do whatever she wants. I would kiss her feet if given the opportunity.

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