To Laughing Cow Cheese
Dear Laughing Cow Cheese,
Let me start off by confessing that I have, in fact, loved other cheeses. It’s no secret that I have somewhat of a cheesy history of affections. I’ve been through it all: brie, gruyere, chevre. I even dabbled in some sort of fromage when I was in Paris in the summer of ‘98, but was so drunk on Pinot Gris I didn’t even ask what kind it was, let alone what kind of milk it was made from. God, I woke up feeling lactose intolerant wondering what had happened the night before. I was so ashamed; I’d never had a one night cheese before.
Those were all a lifetime ago though. I want to start fresh…
…That is, I want to start fresh with you Laughing Cow Light Cheese.
I don’t think there is anything about you I dislike. You’re not even that smelly, which is hard to accomplish. I love foil you come individually wrapped in. When I unfold you using the red tab, I feel just like Charlie when he unwrapped his Wonka Bar to find the golden ticket.
It’s so thoughtful of you to come in such convenient little cheesy triangles. You know it keeps me from eating too much of you. I need to work on my portion control, and you really facilitate that. Just knowing that you are only 35 calories each makes me feel like I’m being good…by being bad. Tee hee! Oh see, you’ve got me giggling like a school girl! I also love how soft and creamy you are! It makes me feel safe knowing I will still be able to devour you whole when I am old and have no teeth. I’ll still have you, creamy cheese.
I’ll always have you.
January 26th, 2008 | 09:25 am | Raves
2 Responses to “To Laughing Cow Cheese”
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January 26th, 2008 at 9:41 am
lolz!!!! cheese rulz!
January 26th, 2008 at 9:42 am
laughing cow is the dirty little secret of every woman in america. for reals.