To Emo Songs


Dear Emo Songs,
 

You feel our pain! You do. You know exactly what it’s like being awkward and alone and misunderstood. And unloved by everyone, and knowing deep in our heart of hearts that we’ll never ever find true love - especially since Kristin in science lab checked “No” in response to the “Do you want to go out with me?” note.
 

And now they want to ban you in Russia? God that makes me so sad. All those poor Russian kids who won’t get to feel my pain. How will they cope? Boys won’t be allowed to wear eyeliner or dark mascara. Even black hair dye will be illegal. What about old man hats? Or ill-fitting ties? Well, at least they can still cut themselves in secret.
 

Emo songs, we love you. No, love isn’t the right word, because it’s too general, you know? Like every stupid, dopey Hallmark card uses the word “love,” so our society has completely lost touch with what love really is, you know? What we mean is: emo songs you understand us. Your hair, it really is everywhere.
 

It’s just so hard being an effete, sensitive boy who wears make-up - but totally isn’t gay, I swear! - in today’s world. But emo songs, you make it a little bit easier.
 



July 31st, 2008 | 02:15 am | Raves


2 Responses to “To Emo Songs”

  1. Yuri Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 2:26 am

    I come from Russia and this emo BS is not tolerated. It is not advisable that emos visit my country.

  2. Shirly Says:
    July 31st, 2008 at 2:37 am

    Don’t make fun of them! They’re just teenage love songs. They’ve always been angsty… since the beginning of time. :)

Leave a Reply