To Bob Saget
Dear Bob,
Okay, we get it. You swear and say disgusting shocking things, and it’s supposed to be funny because it’s Danny Tanner saying all this stuff.
Well, it’s not. It’s just f*cking not… not anymore that is.
I’ll admit, I enjoyed your cameo in Half Baked. When you said, “I sucked dick for coke,” the shock value of Danny Tanner uttering it made me roar with laughter. But you’ve continued to ride the malnourished, dying horse of shock value into the ground, and now it’s just sad. You see, Bob, shock value is inherently fleeting. You shock someone with something unexpected, and it works. But when you keep trying to shock people with the same raunchy-Danny Tanner routine, it loses its effectiveness. The first Saw movie? shocking. The second one? Still pretty jarring, and the box office results prove it. But the third and fourth Saw movies fail because they don’t provoke anything anymore. The audience has become inured to the extreme violence.
The Half Baked cameo was your Saw 1. It was great. Everyone still quotes it, and it hasn’t lost its luster. Your bit in The Aristocrats was like Saw 2: wildly successful and still totally unexpected. But all the subsequent HBO specials, the stand-up routines that talk about lusting after Kimmy Gibbler or ejaculating in Uncle Jesse’s pomade just get tiring. Like Dustin Diamond, you’ve become too self-aware of and reliant on your ironic celebrity status.
And when I saw you in a Westwood bar, drunk and cracking dirty jokes to co-eds, I could only shake my head. A year ago, that would have made my night, but it’s just sad now.
If you’re not careful, Bob, you might implode upon yourself, setting the stage for a supernova of ironic celebrity.
Please, just get out while you still can. I don’t want to see Saget porn in five years.
By Erik C.
March 19th, 2008 | 05:37 am | Rants
8 Responses to “To Bob Saget”
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March 19th, 2008 at 7:58 am
I don’t even want to see the words “Saget porn” let alone the real thing. Gross.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:02 am
remember the full house episode when he dressed in leather and sang “my generation” by the Who? that was disturbing enough as it was.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:04 am
he’s a super freak. super freak. he’s super freaky, yeow!
March 19th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Is it sick of me to be kinda intrigued by the possibility of Saget porn?
March 19th, 2008 at 11:37 am
whatever. saget is hella funny.
March 21st, 2008 at 7:23 am
I think Saget porn would be hot!!
I kid.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:52 am
Anybody who uses the word “hella” is obviously a Bob Saget fan.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:35 am
hella yeah, i’m a bob saget fan! what you gonna do about it?